Vertical Divider
|
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. -- II Corinthians 3:17 |
Vertical Divider
|
Vertical Divider
|
The image of this painting came to me after watching survivors of a natural disaster talking on TV about how they were going to move on and start over fresh. In some ways, I thought for a moment, starting over so completely would be freeing.
I started wondering what it would be like to feel truly free, to not be concerned with any of the many things in life that get us stuck, hemmed in, locked in old ways, limited in any way. As I prayed, a woman joyously danced across my mind, arms outflung, hands outstretched as though letting go of things as she swirled around, unabashedly dancing, free. The movement of the air around her took on the look of a whirlwind, and I thought of all the mental “stuff” one who was truly free could let go of, mental, physical, spiritual, things from the past, worries about the future. I started out my life with a lot of limitations imposed on me. My first five years were in the loving home of my maternal grandparents, followed by many years with my mother and stepfather, who did not like me all that much. From age six through 18 I was the subject of constant criticism and voiced doubts about my abilities and fitness to do much of anything. I wasn’t considered as good at schoolwork as my mother had been though I did very well, I wasn’t considered to have musical talent though tested well, told girls never make good musicians, I was told it was a shame I had dark hair like my father, a shame I wasn’t more like my cousin, a shame I was a girl, a shame I just wasn’t ... somebody other than who I was apparently. And since it came from figures of authority, beautiful, accomplished people, I took their words as sacred truth. I developed a lifelong feeling that I had to earn love and that it was a losing battle, because I just didn’t measure up. Limitations. This is the story of mentally abused children and it is largely for women who have gone through this kind of abuse that I paint my women series. In school, I scored extremely high on aptitude tests and earned high grades, higher when I had an encouraging teacher, but I once failed a course because I was so afraid I couldn’t write a term paper that I didn’t even attempt to do it. I didn’t attempt college, either, being told I’d have to put myself through but that it was beyond my abilities, financially and intellectually. Not ten years later, though, I was winning awards in journalism - more than 60 first and second place awards for writing, design and photography competing against professional, college educated journalists from hundreds of newspapers in the respected Delaware-Maryland-D.C. Press Association and Chesapeake Publishing Corporation and receiving numerous public service commendations, as well as awards for my paintings. I became an illustrator, newspaper editor, magazine editor, designer and photographer, established a profitable one-woman design & PR firm, raised funds for various non-profits, and over the years since gained a following as one of the Mid-Atlantic’s most collected artists. What happened between the year I failed that course and the year I began winning awards? Observing people living their faith, I began seriously studying the Bible and discovered my true father and mother, the infinite, ever-present, all-loving Source of my abilities, a God who didn’t pick and choose, but one who loves unconditionally and from whom all creativity and intelligence comes. Through the Spirit in whom I ‘live and move and have my being’, I found the freedom and courage and strength to be who I really always was. When people tell me they envy my talent, I usually respond, “I bet you have talents of your own.” When they say no, I answer, “I bet you have talents you don’t even realize you have. I bet you’re great at your job, or you’re a good cook, or a good organizer, or a loving parent or grandparent. I bet you do a lot of things well.” And always they start to talk about the things they do well. “See, you do have talent,” I reply. “Yes,” comes the response along with a big, joyous smile, “I do!” We’re all assailed with things that threaten to shackle us, stifle our dreams, keep us from being free to do all we are created with the ability to be, whether it’s lack of trust in our own God-given abilities or labels others have put on us.... You’re too young, you’re too old, you don’t have enough money, you don’t have enough education, you need to earn this much or you’re a failure, you don’t have talent, you don’t have the right contacts, you’re in the wrong occupation, you don’t have enough time, you’re not pretty enough or handsome enough, you’re not the right sex, you have an accent, you don’t live in the right neighborhood, you don’t drive the right car or even have one, you don’t have the right clothes, you’re fat, you’re skinny, you’re black, you’re white, you’re purple, you’re pink, you’re green. The list is endless. The last three are obviously ludicrous. It’s the ones that aren’t so obviously untrue that often keep us from soaring. But they don’t have to. When I began to accept only my divine heritage, I sprouted wings. All of the honors and awards, the letters of thanks, commemorations, art collectors, were the result of letting go of the false messages I’d learned about myself early on and that unconsciously I'd continued to accept for myself. I made a choice to stop believing in the limitations that had been thrust at me. I’ve had my share of new challenges that would try to hold me back, but one by one, as they come at me, I do my best to refuse to give in to them and move on. Sometimes I have to repeat the effort a few times, sometimes more than a few, but I don’t give up. It’s a choice. I painted Freedom as a reminder for you and to myself to let go of any and every negative thing that ever allowed into thought about ourselves. Freedom is one of the few paintings I hang in my home where I can see it prominently every day as a source of encouragement. I hope it serves as a source of encouragement to you, too. Now, throw out your arms, open your hands wide, let go, and dance! Ellen |
|
30124 Territory Trail, Ocean View, DE 19970
Hours: Wednesday Friday and Saturday 10 to 4 Sunday 12 to 3 Other days by calling for an appointment. |
Search website |